Well, as the Bible says, 'First shall be last and last shall be first.'
Deflated, I rolled into the space for the front of the queue and look out to where the ferry is, seemingly making a mockery of me with the space its creating between us. This entire morning has been a mockery. The design is no closer to being completed than if I never went to the office. I go looking for Monique and well…well we know how that went. And now I’ve just missed the Ferry. Not just any ferry mind. The one with James on it.
I tried not to beat myself up, because okay, I never expected to see him until I got to the hotel but to be so close. Ooph. Instead I look around for a coffee shop to ease the pain but decided I could neither be bothered to move me nor the car. Which by the way, is parked facing the blazing hot sun. One arm across my steering wheel, I rest my head on it. With the other, I cheer myself up with the remainder Percy Pig Party Time sweets from my handbag.
My phone now occupies my lap and it pings with a WhatsApp message. Its James, and when I open it, it's a photo—a photo of the back of my car. But it's the back of my car in the spot I'm parked. The photo makes no sense, and I look out again to where the boat is. I dial his number, heart pounding, brain slowing with a confusion. And too, surprise.
'James, where are you?'
'Behind you.'
'What?'
'I'm behind you.'
My brain was ever so slow on the matter. So slow, that by the time I realise what's happening and look to open my car door, James is standing over me. I look up and when I see him, I look at him as if he's not the James I know and then back out to sea. A question all over my face.
'Yep its me.' Opening my door.
I looked back at him. Smiled and buried my face into the palms of my hands. Then parted them, peek back at him again still glued to my seat.
‘James, Oh my gawd. You have no idea.’
He helps me out the car and I want to play punch him but he scoops me up and I hug him close and stay hugged close to him.
'James Adlington-Cellurier, you shouldn't have.' Pulling my head back to see his face when he puts me down.
'And what miss this?'
I'm smiling so big. 'You are crazy, you know that, right?'
'Well, if crazy is what it now takes to have moments like this with you, Jess, then crazy is what it is.'
I shake my head but in mock disbelief.
'Plus, I needed to see this for myself.'
'See what?'
'You, actually joining us and on your own.' Wait he ain't hiding out in one of those buildings is he?' Swings around like a Jedi ready for combat.
I smile but lower my eyes. 'No, it is just me.'
‘Anyway, there’s no way I was about to get on the Ferry when I couldn’t see you, knowing how you readily get lost.’
'What?'
'Well, Jess, unfortunately, you are well-known for losing your way.'
My eyes widen in disbelief. Are you being serious? 'It's not my fault the Satnav doesn't know where it's going?'
'So now it's the Satnav's fault?' Eyebrows raised.
'Yes.'
'Ok, why did we get lost in Antigua because the Satnav wasn't the reason then?'
'OMG, am I ever gonna live that down?' I bury my face in my left hand, remembering how I got us all royally lost coming back from a Carnival night out.
'The roads weren't signposted.' I give as my defence.
He laughed. 'You need a signpost to tell you left from right?'
I had to laugh at that too. 'Ok, I give you that.' But he stayed fixated on my left hand, now rested across my lips.
Realising why he's staring, I try hiding it. But he'd already clocked it. Catches my hand before I can stick it under my other arm, holds it up between me and him.
'Jess?' He'd stooped so that his face was level with mine. Eyes in my line of sight.
The horns behind us kick off. We look back, and the driver behind us is gesturing to get a move on. We look back to the dock to where the next Ferry had arrived and ready for boarding.
'I'll tell you later.'
'Jessica.'
'I promise. I will tell you. Biting down on the left side of my lower lip.'
He gives me another hug. Whatever it is, I'm glad you're here. Then we parted ways, went into our vehicles, and back onto our phones.
'Wait Hang on,’ his voice coming through my vehicle's speakers, ‘Ana and Jonno didn't tell me you were coming.’
‘That’s because I told them not to. I wanted to surprise you.’
'Well just in case you missed it, I am more than pleased you are here.’
I drive on, park, and go quiet. All week, I'd agonised over seeing James again, the surprise on his face, and instead, he's the one to surprise me. I'm the one surprised. I'm the one overwhelmed. I switch down my engine, and guess what? It's James standing by my window again.
'You know, you're supposed to come out the vehicle once you've parked it.' Opening my door.
‘Oh shut it, you.’
We go up top, picking up a chocolate bar, a packet of crisps and a lemonade from the shop before we go to the top deck. Share these between us because I didn't want a whole of anything and watch as the Ferry sails out of port. While I have never been to the Isle of Wight, James tells me he's been with school on something called a Travel Week. Something they did at the end of every school year but to different places, even as far away as France. Like a sleepover but with all of his school friends and without the school work but with lots of games and sporty things and muddy clothes and no one to tell them off. And while he tells it with fond memories, I sit listening and thinking I could not think of anything worse.
'Did girls go too?'
'Pfffft. Everyone went - kids, teachers even some of the moms. Not mine. But I was cool with that. More fun for me.'
'To be fair I can't for the life of me picture Mrs C in such an environment. Yeap. No.' Shook the image out of my head.
When he's done coasting down that memory lane, I want to ask about his now situation. What woman has left him over what dream. Charlotte. But doing so, meant I'd have to share mine. I will, but not now—not on this Ferry.
We're pulling into our new port and need to return to our vehicles.
'Do you know what James, (exchanging the rest of the chocolate bar for the rest of the crisps), I quite expected the water to be choppy.'
'You're probably thinking of Calais. Have you been to Calais?'
I shake my head.
'Neither have I.' He admits.
'I'll pull off somewhere and let you take the lead.' I say to him before we get in our vehicles.
Off the Ferry, I do as I say and pull off. He pulls up alongside me, salutes me and then takes the lead. Back on our phones to each other we drive without saying much.
'Jess.'
'James.'
'Just checking as you've gone all quiet on me.'
'I'm here. Simply enjoying the views and the island roads.'
'By chance, does it remind you of being back home?'
'Exactly what I was thinking. A little like driving to the south of the island. Windy roads with the sea on my right and the mountains to my left. Well there aren't any mountains here but its reminiscent.'
'Do you think you'd ever go back to your island to live?'
‘Maybe when I retire but for now, no. You? Because you have options too.’
‘It depends. If my parents retire to the island then I can see myself spending half my time there and the rest here.’
‘Your parents? I can see your father retiring back to the Caribbean. Your mother, on the other hand—haha.’
‘Interestingly, Jess, it's the other way around. Its my mother who wants to retire to the Caribbean.’
‘What, Mrs C? Ohh, that is interesting.’
‘Yep. She wants to retire to the villa, sit out in the garden, and paint all year round.’
‘Must admit, not a bad way to while away your days.’
‘Nope.’
‘Jess.’
(When for sometime we’d said nothing.)
‘James.’
‘You've gone quiet on me again.’
‘I'm here. Just thinking of how easy it is to talk you even after so long. And that I miss this. I miss having you to talk to. I miss how you and I can just talk so easy about any and everything. Do you know there are things I’ve told you, that I’ve not been able to tell that so called husband of mine. I like how we can be silent in each other's company and they’d be no hoohahs.’
Hoohahs. He's always laughed at that word.
‘Yes. Hoohahs.’ And I laugh too, even though this hoohah is coming from an awful place.
‘Jess, you are going to tell me what's happened, yes?’
‘James if I don't tell you, then I tell no one.’
‘I hear you. Hang on, I think we’re here.’
I break behind him as he turns to cross this steep downhill road into the property's car park. Ana and Jonno seemed to have timed us nicely because as we're getting out of our cars, they squeeze in next to us in the car park (drop top down). We wave to each other. Tupac's California Love, is giving their stereo speakers a workout. I throw my arms in the air to shake it out with the song when Ana switches it off.
‘Hey guys.’ I say.
But instead of answering me. She says, 'Tupac? or Biggie?'
I look at the two of them and see a camp already divided. I look over to James for help who simply says. ‘Give me Love.’
‘Two-one.’ Jonno mouths to Ana pleased with himself who then turns to me for support.
‘Ana, I-A Californ-i-a.’
‘What?’ She shoots back at me and not impressed.
I pull a face to say sorry.
The three-one gives Jonno licence to pump California Love back through the speakers. James is giving Jonno a man shake and wishing him happy birthday and we (James, Jonno, and I) have a mini jam in the car park, to Ana's chagrin.
Our mini jam session is outed by the host, who comes out to greet us. Welcomes James and I to The Terrace Rooms and Wine. Introduces us to the pet dog, Ronnie who snuggles up to Ana, now out of the car.
'Well, that's it for you, Mr Gardiner. You're in the dog house tonight, and Ronnie, well, he gets to sleep in the room with me.'
And Jonno, he shuts down that music so fast, we all burst out laughing.
