'Hey hun, how are you? Are you on your way over? Ana comes through all excited when she picks up my call.
'Mah mah.'
'Hang on Jess. Yes darling'
'Is it aunty Jess?'
'It is. Do you want to say hi to her?'
'Yeahhh.' Ava-Leigh says with much excitement.
'Jess, I'm putting you on audible so your favourite niece can say hi.'
'Hi Aunty Jess.'
'Hey, baby girl. How are you?'
'Are you coming to see me?'
'Yes and soon.'
'Are you coming soon now, aunty Jess?'
'Yes, I'm coming soon now. I promise. Tell me, have you been good?'
'Yes. I have.'
The 'I have' a little delayed, made me question her again. She's a little quicker in her response if even a tadbit distracted.
'Shall we ask mommy? is she going to say the same thing?'
'Aha.' She says in her little cutesy voice.
'Hmm. Shall we ask her?'
'Mommy, I've been good girl 'aven' I?'
'Well lets see, Ava-Leigh have you been good?'
There's silence. And shortly there after, I hear little feet pittering off into the distance when Ana confirms she's ran off and I laugh.
'That child is something else,' I say. 'Why incriminate yourself, eh?' I'm laughing even more. 'Where's Alex? He's been awfully quiet these days?'
'I'll tell you why. His grandma has him somewhere doing maths so he can play video games later. '
'Oops, I remember those days. But I don't suppose she'll like me when I bring him another game today.'
'Great.' She says with mock disappointment.
'Anyway Jess, I know you're on your way here but I am dying to know. How was coffee?'
'Interestingly coffee was not actually coffee but lunch.'
'Oh, where did the two of you go? Sexy Fish?'
'Nope Frog by Adam Handling in Covent Garden.
'You two went to Frog? What type of bridge does our 'good friend' Charlotte need to build?'
I laugh.
'No, seriously, Jess, what do you think sparked that? Do you think it was those pictures we posted?
'What the ones with us on the beach on the Isle of Wight?'
'You know something, before the lunch, I'd have said yes, but now. No.'
'Jess, what are you not telling me?'
I keep quiet, unable to regurgitate Charlotte's words just yet, but Ana's doorbell rings, and she shouts to Jonno to get the door.
'Did you mention it to James in the end?'
'I did. And he was surprised. Well, first, he laughed, then admitted to being surprised. Said it was up to me.' (I decided I'd throw Charlotte a bone and so agreed to this coffee.)
'So how was it? Lunch, that is?
'I'm trying to find a fault but the only thing I can come up with is that I'm not running to my nearest fast food takeaway for a bucket. It's an experience, I'll say that. A little like a theatre performance but with food. Food packed full of flavours popping and kicking around your mouth. I especially liked the crab dish they served with the starters. A mouthful of crunch and cream. There was also this chicken wing and goodness me, I would not have said no to a few more pieces of those. That humble chicken wing was done so good, they need to open a chicken place. Do you know what else they need to open? A bakery. Because hun, that sourdough bread. Hot out of the oven; I slathered half in chicken butter and another piece in the beetroot coloured chicken pate it was served with but on its own, there's nothing anywhere else like it. Do you know what else I liked. I liked that I didn't have to get all fancied up for it especially since I knew I had your BBQ after. Well, I suppose the company could have been different but I can't visit that on the restaurant now can I?'
We both laughed.
'I'd say yourself and Jonno need to go.'
'We've been?'
'Oh, why didn't you say?'
'I wanted to see if you had a similar experience. Turns out you did.'
'Honeyyy, Where are you?' (Jonno calling to Ana.)
'I'm in here. (I hear Jonno enter the room.) What's in the bag?'
'Champagne. The neighbours are here.' (I hear him say.)
'Already? They're early.'
'Honey its 14:30
'I've got Jess on the phone. She's just been to Frog by Adam Handling.'
'Is she planning on eating when she gets here?
'She's on speaker.' Ana offers.
'It depends.' I reply.
'On what?' Jonno asks back.
'Err on whose in charge of BBQing?' I jest.
'The parents are.'
'Then yes.'
'Jessica what are you implying? Are you implying that we can't do a BBQ?'
'Well I know Ana can't.' Laughing
'Jess. You leetle sh...' She exclaims in an accent that's a halfway house between her Russian and a West Indian. That's it you are no longer invited.'
'Well let's see how Mr and Mrs Gardner senior feels about that now shall we.'
'Gonna go above my head are you?'
'Ana I don't need to. Your kids will invite me and let me in.'
'Ok you win.'
'So how was it Jess? Jonno asks.
'Jonno, its as good as that Michelin place we all went to in Paris.'
'Then its up there in your top five isn't it?'
'Indeed it is.' I confirm back. 'Guys have James arrived yet? I ask slightly changing the topic.
'No. But hang on, who were you at Frog with?'
I'm immediately regretting the question in Jonno's presence. In my silence Ana answers him.
'Jess you've got my husband looking at me as if I'm a mad woman. And now he's walking out of the room.'
Like me, the relationship between Charlotte and Jonathan has been hit and miss. Him even moreso which in turn is another reason Charlotte's and Ana's relationship has been severed. But Ana is fine with that.
'So Jess, how is our 'good friend' Charlotte?
'I exhaled audibly before answering. Charlotte is now sporting a pixie haircut would you believe?'
'Like yours?'
'A little like, except hers is longer and most of it swept to one side. Plus she's died her hair much darker.'
'Ohh.'
(While I have almost exclusively worn a pixie hairstyle, Ive never ever seen Charlotte with hair that short or that dark.)
'And she's pregnant.'
'Say that again.'
'Yep.'
'Pregnant for whom?'
I don't answer that question either.
'Wait. James? No-no-no-nooo. Does James know?'
'Charlotte says he doesn't.'
'That doesn't add up. Why would she tell you and not tell James?'
'Ana, that is the same question I am asking myself.'
I run my tongue along the front of my teeth remembering the chicken wing.
'Oh hun I'm so sorry.'
Her door bell rings again and now her landline too. She tells me she's got to go but wishes me there quickly before she has to hang up.
I smile but my smile is vacant. I suppose if I too, had a bomb such as that to detonate, I'd do it where it'll cause the most destruction.
The full restaurant review coming shortly.
